Body Issues, Diet Dilemmas and Finding A Balance

Hey guys,

So this is a post I have wanted to do for a longggggg time, even way before I started my blog to be honest. If you knew me a year or two ago, you would know how I once had a severe issue with food (the relationship I had with it mainly)/my weight/body confidence. I get a lot of people direct messaging me regarding my figure, seeing me post all these yummy carb filled (mainly pizza ha) pictures and asking me ‘What exercise do you do?” or “How do you eat that food all the time and stay slim??” Well these are questions I am going to answer for you in this post but I’m not going to lie, this post is going to get a whole lot deeper than talking about my workout routine and day to day diet….

Background – Bodybuilding competition prep attempt and how it effected my life:

Yep, this subsection may come as a surprise to you guys seeing as virtually none of my blog/instagram posts are ever related to the gym/bodybuilding/competition prep but I feel in order to fully explain to you how I ‘found the balance’ and got to where I am today I need to first justify what I personally went through a couple of years back when I was absolutely OBSESSED with the gym, getting abs and eating 8 times a day lol! One thing I do want to make clear here though guys is that this is solely my own experience, it is absolutely not a direct reflection on the bodybuilding sport or anything to do with it as I personally know/am good friends with a lot of bodybuilders and fitness fanatics who have a fantastic routine and lifestyle with no problems at all :)

Basically without going into toooooo much detail, I decided a couple of years back having seen all the amazing bikini fitness bodies plastered all over social media that I wanted to do it myself, I wanted to get up on a stage in a super sparkly bikini and show off my super tight glutes and razor sharp abs because how hard could it be right? Up until that point in my life, I had never had an issue with food, I had always been slim and been able to pretty much eat what I want. No, I was never 100% happy with my figure, are any of us ever happy? But I was content and never worried or stressed about what I was eating and when. This all changed massively for me as soon as I went down the fitness/bodybuilding path. I did a lot of research at the time and found myself a coach, a great coach at that, I got my plan which consisted of around 6 meals a day, ALOT of water, gym sessions most days of the week and I started pretty much that same day. At the time I found it so odd, eating so much food and eating so regularly throughout the day, in fact I was petrified I was going to pile on a load of weight as I had never eaten that much!! Bare in mind all of the food on the plan was super clean, no chips or chocolate in sight ahhhhh it was all just so new to me but I have always been one for a new challenge so I kept at it. A few weeks down the line a little thing called cravings kicked in, with a god damn vengeance I won’t lie haha it really was the worst feeling ever, smelling something, seeing someone else scoff your favourite food and not being ‘aloud’ to eat it yourself. Self control is seriously taken to another level in bodybuilding, these people have the most insane will power ever and looking back I honestly have absolutely no idea how they all stay strong! To cut a long story short, I never got on stage and I never ever saw my abs and the reason for that was I began to binge eat. Some of you may have heard of the term ‘cheat meal’ but for those of you who haven’t it is basically a meal, or for some, a day during the week where you can have a naughty meal, to release any cravings on a mental basis but also to help keep the metabolism in check. This cheat meal was always supposed to be controlled but for me it wasn’t. Unfortunately for me, my cheat meals turned into cheat days or even weekends in some cases, I became a secret eater and would sit in my room and gorge on everything naughty I could get my hands on to the point I wanted to make myself sick because I felt so much guilt after. This just got worse and worse for me, the cheat meals got so bad I ended up putting weight on each week, instead of having a controlled cheat meal which is beneficial for many people I did so much damage in my binges that all the hard work I did during the week was totally wasted. Mentally this was so draining and each week I said to myself I would start again.

This dieting/routine effected absolutely everything in my life very quickly, my University work suffered massively to the point I very nearly missed out on the grade I needed, I lost friendships I had had for years as I stopped going out and socialising for fear of being around things I wasn’t allowed’ to enjoy and my relationship suffered because I could never just relax, everything was so planned and regimented. My whole life was consumed by the gym and food and it really was a very bad time for me in my life, one I am so thankful I managed to escape! One night I had a horrendous binge/cheat meal session, my boyfriend at the time came to my house that night and I remember just bursting into tears (having just eating basically the entire Sainsburys store) and I just said enough was enough. From that day, I have never looked back and although it did take some adjusting and I had a few bumps along the way since I decided competeing just wasn’t for me, I have found a great balance and have absolutely no issues with food/dieting at all anymore :)

So thats the ‘deep’ section over with ha, let’s get on to something a little less depressing….

Current Day to Day Diet

Hmmm diet? I honestly don’t have a specific diet at all anymore! After going through so many months of depriving myself and being afraid of eating ‘bad’ foods I actually decided that I never wanted to stop myself from eating anything because for me, the more I tell myself I can’t have something the more I bloody well want it!

Breakfast is ALWAYS a Medium Soya Mocha from Costa Coffee (yes this is an absolutely awful breakfast but it makes me happy and I am never hungry first thing in the morning lol).

Lunch I always try and eat well, carbs are essential as I am on my feet most of the day running around so without carbs I would literally pass out!! Usually I will buy a sushi tray with some fresh fruit and nuts or sometimes I’ll make a salad at home with rice and chicken, whatever I have it has to fill me up! Carbs wise I always tend to have brown rice or potatoes, bread I try and stay clear from simply because it tends to bloat me but if I really fancy a sandwich then I will have it! Eggs are one of my favourite things, I could eat them with every meal so I have two hard boiled eggs basically everyday at lunch and it is just a bonus that they are good for you!

Dinner tends to be decided on the day, again, it will always have some form of carb and usually chicken or tuna or some sort of lean protein. I have a big salad every evening with my dinner without fail and usually some more hard boiled eggs haha :)

If one evening I fancy some sweets I will have them, I just won’t go over the top like I used to, now I can happily have a handful without finishing the bag and just eating them till I feel satisfied! Pizza is also a massive love of mine haha (incase you hadn’t noticed ;)) I will always usually have this on a Sunday because well everybody should eat pizza on Sunday and Pizza Express is like the best thing in the world!!!!

Exercise Routine

Some weeks I have a routine and some weeks I have absolutely no routine at all, no point me trying to tell you guys I hit the gym everyday without fail because people who know me that might be reading this will know that is a big fat lie haha 😉 I do however keep active everyday, now that doesn’t mean I go for a long 4 mile run each morning before work and hit the weights in the evenings but it does mean that most evenings I will take my dog out for either a walk or a run depending on how I feel :) I am on my feet all day with my job, running up and down stairs and never really sat down at all until I get home and sit down to eat my dinner so I do think that helps me a lot when keeping my weight in check. If I was doing an office job where I was sat down all day on my butt I can honestly say I would 100% go to the gym more often and workout that little bit harder because eating what I do and sitting down all day would not be the best combo for someone trying to keep slim unless they are blessed with a crazy fast metabolism.

With my summer holidays coming up (Marbs and Ibiza woo) in a couple of weeks I am making a little more effort, granted I am doing some extra sit ups and squats at home before bed and upping the tempo on my evening walks/runs but thats just because I want to feel confident in a bikini so a little more effort is required (even though I’m not so sure it will make a huge amount of difference haha)! I do really believe that the key to weight loss is down to what you put in your mouth but for me evening walks and just keeping active is something I do for my general health which I think is so important!

For me the most important thing about everything I have mentioned in this post is that I am healthy and happy inside and out, I enjoy the foods I love and have a far more relaxed approach which in turn has just balanced everything out for me and my body has thanked me for it. I rarely see the scales move and I feel lucky to have got my metabolism back in to a good place :)

Everything in moderation I say peeps :)

Hope you enjoyed reading this post and I guess it may well be something a lot of girls can relate to in some way but this is my side to it all!

p.s sorry for the lack of pictures, it was just more of a words post this time!

Love,

Victoria xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. Nicola 17th August 2016 / 9:29 pm

    Love this Vic!! You look incredible every day!! being happy is the main thing and you’re smashing it 😛 xxxxx

  2. Hannah Rose 27th September 2016 / 10:38 pm

    Such a good post!! Ive always struggled with body confidence but I totally agree – everything in moderation! I couldn’t imagine life without pizza! Your figure is amazing! Xx

    http://www.secretsofarose.com

    • Victoria 30th September 2016 / 8:18 pm

      Thanks girl xx

  3. Kyria 17th October 2016 / 5:04 pm

    I loved this post!!xxx

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